S1:E30 – Abominable Grandpa

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Welcome to Theater of the Mind. My name is Mike, and I'll be your dungeon master for this evening. Our question this week is from the ultimate RPG camp player card deck by James D'Amato. And it is, if you were suddenly transformed into a mythical being or monster, what would you want to be turned into, and what would be the first thing you did with your power?

Hi, my name's Amanda and I am playing Mel Kelly. Mel would absolutely want to be a unicorn because they're pretty and they're sparkly. Oh, no, no. I revoke that. Mel would want to be a Pegasus because that's even cooler than a unicorn and she could fly. Yep, that's Mel's answer.

That sounds right.

My daughters would introduce you to the alicorn.

I was just about to say that.

A unicorn, Pegasus, Perfectly brony right there.

I would like to revise that a third time. I feel like some of us just.

Outed ourselves as bronies.

I have a daughter.

Yeah, I have a daughter. So somebody out of themselves as a brony.

I have a sister.

I had My Little Pony when I was four. That's literally the last time I ever thought of them.

I'm Jeremy. I have neither sisters nor children and have nothing to do with this discussion. I'm playing Elliot Brandy Bane. And Elliot, if he could be turned into a mythical creature or monster, would probably pick a centaur because it would be really cool. And the first thing he would do is run as fast as he could because he's ridden horses his whole life, and that is a thrill that never gets old to him. But the idea of actually being the one that was running just appeals to him.

That's pretty cool.

I am Brunel. I am playing Ulnach Vaga Johnson. And being that Ulnock is already currently a werewolf, unfortunately, that is also the choice of mythical creature he would want to be. However, he would want to be in control of his faculties and be a protector in this capacity. The reality of the situation. Now, he knows that's not possible, but that's not what the question was. So if he could be transformed into anything, it'd be a werewolf. So he could wolf out and fuck shit up in the name of justice.

So, dm, do you think we could swing it?

Gonna roll like seven Nat 20s in a row.

We'll figure it out. We'll try.

Bria. I'm gonna have to get that on camera. Too.

No shit.

Must have evidence.

And those will be your first seven twenties.

She literally, I had one to save my ass once when I was almost dead, but that's all. I think that's the only one I've rolled the whole campaign.

I'm downs, I'm playing James O'Brien and James is probably the best one that he can think of. Would be a vampire for multiple reasons. One, you could turn into a bat, which is dope as fuck. Second, you're being mortal, which would be dope as fuck. And you know, be able to drain people of blood would be pretty fun. And that's of course the first thing that he would do. Would probably find like, like some prick that's beating up somebody and eat him. Yep.

So you're gonna try to be a blade.

Yeah.

So that'll be a day one.

Would cooking still be one of your hobbies? Like that's a weird hobby for a vampire.

Yeah, just make blood pudding. Blood sausage.

There's a lot of blood infused stuff type. Yeah.

Make it work. You have to learn how to live without garlic.

Oh, that makes me sad.

That would be hard.

Oh, so sick.

Garlic is so good.

I'm still sticking with my answer. Garlic is a small price to pay for immortality.

Oh, I don't know about that. Immortality would start to sell in eternity without garlic.

No, thanks, that's fine. I barely season my stuff with garlic anyway.

And this is how we know that you're not the actual culinary person.

Hell yeah. Garlic doesn't hurt.

That made my heart hurt. I'm Casey. I play Emery Lee. And my answer is the one that I thought would be the obvious answer for everyone and that was to be a dragon. And the first thing I would do is fly because that's the coolest shit ever. And also breathe fire on things, which you've done. Fucking awesome. Yes.

Vampires are slightly more discreet though.

I don't care if I'm a dragon. I don't care.

Said any mythical creature, good sir, Any mythical creature.

Dragons are objectively the most badass, best mythical creature. And I will argue with anyone over that. Actually, I don't want to argue with anyone over that. So no one at me.

I will. But please.

I'm right and I don't care what anyone else says.

But don't try to argue because I don't feel like.

Get in the comments.

I thought of dragon, but Mel wouldn't want to be a dragon.

I thought of dragon too, but I. Werewolf would be my first choice. Dragon would be a very close second cuz. That would be sick as hell.

They're objectively the most badass. Yes.

Perfect. Let's go ahead and roll. For recap, we'll go closest to 10.

At 1 7. That taste does not work.

I got a 5.

So does that 20 count towards my 7?

No, it does not.

I guess that's me then. So, last time we were still in Kremling, we wrapped up some of the blacksmithing work. I resilvered some stuff and made some new silvered stuff. James got a new fit, which he looks ridiculous in, and he doesn't believe us.

Oh, no. I'm killing the next cowboy I see, and I'm taking his hat.

I love your hat.

Run out of town.

I'm gonna hold action until I see a cowboy.

You do that and I'll slap the hell out of you.

I was gonna say Elliot's the one you're around the most, so you're gonna.

I could barely see him as it is, so I'm going after the other cowboy.

We kept going. We left Kremling and headed off towards Estes. We ended up going through Rocky Mountain national park in snow, which sucked and left us very cold. Estes has a funky street set up right now, which directed us to the Stanley Hotel, which most of us don't really know, or some of us don't know the history. Some of us are excited about it. Some of us just have bad feelings about the vibes here. There's a writer guy named Jack. I didn't catch the rest of his name.

We didn't get it.

Diamond.

We just got Jack, okay, Who has a quill and ink to write. And he wants stories in exchange for staying here. Even though he doesn't own the hotel, he's just somehow the caretaker for it, which is strange. Anyway, we're hanging out in front of a fire. We're going to have some drinks and tell some stories. And that's where we left off.

Oh, but we're not staying here.

No.

We're gonna tell stories, drink their alcohol and leave.

Perfect. So, yes. Jack has his quill in hand, dips it in the inkwell and looks at. You guys expected first story.

Is it still a pretentious inkwell?

What are you talking about? That is a lovely quill.

That is so last episode.

So elegant.

That is the coolest quill that you've ever seen.

So elegant, so pristine. So demure.

So mindful.

Emory will start with a story. Do I have to actually tell a story?

It. Let's do it.

I was just going to have I was just going to have Em tell the story of, like, meeting, like, hunting outside of Rifle and meeting Griff and. Okay.

For that. Go ahead and just walk the front, sailor.

Though we still have the advantage on the charisma.

It's still the same day.

Good.

Ooh, that doesn't sound promising.

It was a four or a one stop, so a seven.

Emery's not a natural storyteller.

I have really good charisma.

Well, this one time we stayed in Rifle, we went north of Rifle, we shot an elk, and we came back and we met a creepy guy.

He's a creepy dude with the gruffy voice.

That'd be a performance check. Do you have any pluses?

No, that was plus three.

Oh, God.

That was plus three to my four. It was a four in that one.

Never mind.

Listen, my dice have been cursed for weeks. I think I just gotta ride it out.

So, you see, Jack starts writing as you're telling the story a little bit in. He just kind of pauses, let you finish your story. He never looks any kind of disrespectful or anything, but he stops writing part way through. Well, thank you. Thank you for that story. I appreciate you sharing that with me.

Val would like to try to fill in Emery's details about that time.

The guy comes up with a bar cart. He's got drinks, takes her order, passes them around to you. There's no ice.

That's good.

It's fine.

He ordered it. Whiskey neat.

Anyway, there you.

It's a dirty 20 to fill in Emery's details.

Perfect. So, yeah, you essentially start over. So you start back over and you're telling all sorts of. You're getting deep into the scenery of the area, and it doesn't take long for him to re. Dip the quill and he's scribbling along just as fast as you're telling it.

Emery's offended. She doesn't say anything, but she's offended.

Thank you. That story makes significantly more sense now. I appreciate that.

Have. There were these weird green tennis court things. We still don't know what that was about.

I gotta say, if I was the writer, I wouldn't necessarily include that bit. That's kind of random. Doesn't really add anything to the storyline, but.

I know, but I'm just. I still love the criticism there.

But. Perfect. Well, I appreciate that story. It's absolutely worth. Worth the drinks at least.

Well, I'll tell him a story about escaping junction and how we valiantly fought against a fire.

Okay. Okay, roll for it. Performance.

I got a 15?

Yeah, that's not bad. Not bad at all. He definitely. He writes it out seems a little tiny bit less excited. But it's definitely. It's a well told story. You get all the details.

I definitely add a lot of embellishment.

Oh, yeah? Like what? What are your embellishments?

We were trapped in a room surrounded by fire on all sides. And through an absolute miracle, we gained the ability to use magic. We used the ice powers to fight back the flames, like icy breaths from our hands.

That's just the story. That's just true.

I mean, we weren't in a room surrounded.

All right, well, thank you for sharing that story with me. Anyone else want to share a story? You look like a man who's had some. Some difficulties in your past. Want to get them off your chest? Sometimes sharing them with a stranger is the best way to leave them in the past.

First you say, hi, my name is Ulnak.

Hi, my name is Ulnock. Welcome to the AA meeting, and I'm an alcoholic.

You say as you lift your whiskey glass.

It has been 30 seconds.

Since my last drink.

It has now been, take a sip.

I basically have a whole, like, drinking glass of straight whiskey.

Jesus.

Because I'm.

Fuck.

I'm a champ.

I'm.

All right, I'm going in.

All right, that is established.

All right. So you want a story, my friend? I'm trying to think of which story.

I want to tell you.

Any of them. Because we haven't heard any of them yet.

I know. I don't want to get these guys.

Haven't heard anything.

Ah, we have an opportunity.

Tell us the story of why you're named Olnod. Cuz none of us understand.

You know what?

That is a good one.

None of you know why my name is the name that I have.

You always said you'd tell us.

Olnak and Vaga are very, very different names.

Yeah.

So you want me to just tell it?

Oh, no, we were talking about Johnson.

Clearly the most odd name of all of them.

Yeah, tell it.

So, yeah, you know what? I'm gonna tell you the story of my name, good friend.

Ooh.

So bonus copy. Yeah. My first name is Olna. Now, my father was an avid fantasy. He was very into fantasy. He loved Dungeons and Dragons. He loved Lord of the Rings and things like that. He tried to get me involved in it in some way, but he made this deal with my mother that if she got to choose my middle name, he got to choose my first name. Now my dad decided to go ahead and just make up my name because. Reasons. It's. It's part. It's.

It's.

For him, it's part of D and D lore. It's something that he really enjoyed. So Ulnach, apparently, even according to the elves that we met, is a very common name in the. What is the name? Place.

Derbyan.

D'urbuinian. Yes.

Inspiration. Well, she's beautiful.

Exit.

Beautiful. So it's. It's. It's an old name from Darwinian culture and very common where the elves came from. Now, Vaga was my mother's choice. It is a Norse word meaning the destroyer. So my mom thought I was going to be a fighter. Now, she wasn't wrong. I don't know if my mom would be proud of the things I've done lately. But in my defense, most of the.

Time.

Not that kind of destroyer. No. Look, just because I don't have a gag reflex. Anyway, right there, that was there. That was there.

Ah, that's good. That's fucking awesome.

I made off script, but my name was chosen before I knew we were supposed to be regular people. And then I added Johnson because it's a common last name.

Oh, that's canon now.

That's fucking great. So Ulnach is an old Darwinian name, like I said. And then Vaga is a Norse word for slayer. It is, to my knowledge, part of Norse mythology. My mother was very into the old ways. She taught me about runes and things, and she told me many a story of the Norse gods and all of those things. I never really bought much into it, but it seemed to make my mother happy when I listen. So I've embraced my name and I used to get made fun of for it. I did fight a lot when I was a kid because, you know, people talk trash about my name and I had to kick their ass because I'm big and I can.

Now.

I shouldn't have, but. Well, that. That is what I did. But it's just a piece of me that I carry with me everywhere. And it is a strange name. Most people do often ask me about where they came from and what the name means. My mother and father met while my dad was in naval service, which is why I also served in the Navy. It's kind of keeping the family tradition. And strangely, they met during the port visit. I don't really know how they came across each other, but it's what happens. And yeah, in the modern context of where we're going with the destroyer name, the not Johnson's don't destroy Johnson's.

I didn't say anything. What are you saying?

Most of the time, Unless their names are Johnson. I believe it was the Richardson boys.

That's a different story. I'll knock.

But we can't talk about that right now. That's still under investigation.

Yeah. Statute of limitations hasn't discouraged me.

Which time.

But I have had to use unnecessary force in many of an encounter that we've had lately. As you might understand, since the event is. There's no power. There's no law, there's no anything. It's pure chaos outside. There's ghosts, there's goblins, there's zombies, there's werewolves, There's. I don't know if there's vampires, but there's fey people that are really pretty and green. And then there's elves that were also really pretty. I remember. And there's other supernatural type things. I don't know if the Wendigo's real. I haven't seen one yet. But it could be. You know. And I've been handling business. Except for that one time where I got bit.

It helps to have a destroyer on our side when we're up against insane.

Forces and a lot of dicks.

Yeah.

But no.

You know, James just talked about beating people up who made fun of his name. You should maybe tread lightly.

Hey, I'm going to do a stealth check on that chair that I disappeared into real quick.

We all know you're sitting there. We know you're there.

Unless he rolls.

Stealth with disadvantage.

But yeah, that's basically the story of my name. I have. I had more details in my head.

But.

I hadn't fleshed it out because I hadn't expected to talk about it.

Right.

But it's been like 30 episodes. At some point in time, somebody's gonna ask you about it.

But I wasn't ready to talk about it tonight.

I appreciate you sharing that story.

It was not a great story. But there's a special. There's especially more to do with the mother's side. But I didn't do enough research on Norse mythology, so that's what I remember.

I don't suppose your mom was really big into the whole wolf skin berserker tribe? Because that'd be super cool.

That would be.

It'd be an alarming level of prescience.

It would. And I like it.

Turns out Mom's just a.

She's just a psychopath. Yeah.

A seer.

She's like an old druid soothsayer.

We should have asked the elves what Olnok means, if it's such a common.

Name, we should have. Because, I don't know, I was under the impression that my dad made that shit up. I didn't know it was a thing. I didn't know it was real.

Now, was Olock your dad's Dungeons and Dragons character?

It was one of the many.

But your dad's a nerd. Yeah.

Your dad didn't have, like, pointy ears, did he?

No, no, dad didn't have pointy ears. He had big, big, thick glasses. And he was really good at his job. And I always was confused at how he landed such a baddie with my mom. Cause, like, I've gotta be honest, my mom was hot. Now, I know that sounds weird.

You're just digging your hole deeper, baby.

I'm just saying, she was a very attractive lady in her pictures that I saw when she was younger because she was also my mom. So there's that weird. Like, I don't know. Okay, look, I have friends who have hot moms, and it's weird.

Okay, it's weird.

We understand what you're saying. You're just saying it in a way that is very funny.

Oh, mom, finish your whiskey.

I'm gonna finish my drink, too. You stop talking about dicks. Anyway, I'm so glad that I put that together.

Honestly. Kind of amazed me. Happy.

I know we haven't gotten the name meaning yet.

You knew.

I do. And not once ever once did that click.

I didn't click it together either. I made the fucking name.

So the whole time Jack's writing, after you finish talking, you can see he's kind of scribbling around, making marks throughout the story, trying to find a way to make it more linear. Perhaps make it editorial notes on his own work as good luck, which is fair.

That was very stream of consciousness. Not the best story I've ever told.

That was a good story. I appreciate you sharing that.

Thank you.

May not be the most intricatelyed story, but it was from the heart and that matters.

Yeah, I usually write my stories out before I tell them because otherwise my mind goes all over the place.

That's valid and fair and tends to.

Happen, especially with the ADHD crowd.

Not you, kind sir. Is there anything you would like to regale us with this, Eve, since I.

Did agree to give you a story? This. Pretty good whiskey. Thank you for that. And warm fire. Well, when I was a young un, when I first turned 14 years old, I was going. I got my first deer license. I was gonna go procure meat for the family. There's only one problem. You're allowed to get your first deer license at 14 years old. But you don't get a driver's license until you're 16 years old. So it sort of reduces the range that you can go hunt deer at when you can't drive. So when I was younger I was pretty, pretty good. I used to wear tires out on my bicycle. So I pedaled the bicycle back to. There was a creek bottom full of willows the whitetails like to sit in. And I had my old 270 which I had tied to the, tied to the handlebars on that bicycle because I was afraid the strap was gonna break. So I didn't have it on my shoulder. So I went down to that creek bottom and I'd been watching all summer. I'd been watching a big wait. They would do eastern. So that would be like a 20 point buck. And I wanted him. So I snuck down in there with all of my 14 year old dexterity, which wasn't a lot by the way. I never did get that big, that big 20 point. But I decided I needed to put some, bring some food home. And I did get drawn down on a fairly small spike. It was last day season. It was getting dark, I had to get it. Couldn't get a good angle. But I shot that buck, put him down. It was real weird. When I went down to that buck he. I couldn't figure out where I hit him, but he was down, he wasn't moving a lick. I wanted to hurry up and get him home, get him hung up. I had a meat pole there at the barn. Wanted to get him back to that meat pole. So I drug him back up on the, on the riverbank over to the bicycle. Remember I'm on a bicycle. And so I couldn't figure out how I was gonna get him. I tried to drape him across the back seat. That wasn't gonna work. So what I ended up doing is I sat him in the seat of that bicycle and I draped him over the top of me and I tied his front legs to the handlebars. And I was kind of supporting him on my back. So I'm starting to pedal just hard as I could. Cause he was pretty heavy. He was probably 200 pound spike. Not the big one I wanted was probably good. I couldn't have got him humped. So I start pedaling down the road. Well, hindsight tells me I think what I had done is I had shot off and nicked one of the spines on his horn. And I didn't kill him. I knocked him out. Well, we start pedaling down the road. I got about two miles to go to get home. And damned that buck didn't come to. Well, now he comes to, he's sitting on his bicycle. I'm sure he'd never been on a bicycle before in his life, so. And I guess that he was gonna try to run away. But since I had his front legs tied to the front, they're kicking in and wobbling and I'm under him. I can't get off the bike. I don't know how. Good Lord, what we're gonna do. And in all the fighting, he somehow got his two back legs, which had kind of been dragging on the ground a little bit. He got them on them pedals and son of a bitch, we took off down that road. I'm pretty sure there was smoke coming off them tires. I bet I made 45 miles an hour. I never had that bike that fast in my life. So we're running down the road just fast as that guy pedal him. I'm screaming and hollering, trying to jump off, but I'm between his legs and he's tied to the front and I can't get off the bike. He doesn't know how to steer. So we're running down. He's bellerin. I'm hollering. It's just chaos personified coming down and the road turns and you know, he never rode a bicycle. He didn't know he needed to turn the bicycle. So I'm hollering, go right, go right. He just kept pedaling just fast as he could pedal. We went straight off the edge, hit the culvert on the other side of the road. We crashed into a pile. Well, that must have broke the twine loose from the front of it. He got flopped down there on and away he took off. Well, I wasn't gonna let my meat get away, and I was. It was my last chance and I'm gonna bring meat him. So I grabbed that old 270 up and I draw down on him. I'm gonna put him down as he runs off course. The 270 was still tied to the bicycle. So when I did it, the wheels were spinning. I couldn't get. I missed him. He run off in the bushes. At least I got my bicycle back. But he wrecked it bad. Both tires were just shot all to pieces. And I still had like a mile to walk to home. But we made that mile other pretty dang fast. About five minutes we Went fast. So that was my first deer I ever tried to shoot.

I would like to do an insight check on Elliot's story.

Go for it.

I would like to nominate Jeremy for a frickin inspiration for that story. Cause holy shit, was I good?

Oh hell, that's a 17. Mel thinks that Elliot's full of shit, but that was funny as hell.

But Elliot rolls.

You know that Elliot is absolutely full of shit.

Well, of course, because it's a story.

It's a good story because it's a stew.

Jack absolutely is. Writing that whole thing out just like this is phenomenal. That's he finishes, cleans off the tip, puts it away. Well, I can confidently say that's one of the single most unique stories I've ever been told. I appreciate you folks sharing that with me today. And a long, cold quiet winter. Nobody but the barkeep to keep me company. So I appreciate you guys sharing those stories with me.

How long have you been staying here?

I overwintered. Oh, I'll make sure the place stays well taken care of.

It's probably been pretty quiet up here this winter.

Yes. All work, no play. It's been rough.

You work for the hotel?

No, I'm a caretaker.

Oh, all right.

Does it all work and no play make you a dull boy?

Yeah, I was getting there. I had to. I had to bust back out the quill. The typewriter was just getting a little monotonous. All day every day.

And you didn't have a pen?

Emory has found her horse and will die on it.

I'm just saying there's more convenient writing utensils that are usually more easily accessible than a quill and ink.

She says, just with the same tone of voice. She informed Mel that she could lick anything. You didn't have a pen?

I just. I like the weight in my hand. I wrote my very first story with this quill. It's the story I'm the best known for.

What's that story?

Something this worth coming back to.

Is it published?

Oh yes.

What's it called?

Why does Emery sound like such a dick right now?

I don't know. He wrote it with a quill. I don't know if it got published.

It's. Wow. I then sent it to an editor. We cross draft it. We got it printed proper. Of course.

Every writer needs their muse, right?

Wasn't it Charles Dickens that wrote all. He hand wrote all his stories out.

I believe that to be the Once upon a time everybody wrote all their.

Well, that's true.

It used to be they Wrote Homer wrote the Odyssey.

The Illithid.

The Illith.

Wow, you just rewrote all of space and time.

I accidentally almost called it the Illithy.

Isn't it the Iliad?

Iliad. And Odyssey almost became a story.

Okay, it's an Iliad. Odyssey for Illithid.

Boy, howdy, would that be a different story?

I was just curious because I wanted to know if I knew it. That's all.

It's a book called the Tenet of Wildfell Hall.

History to see if James even knows what that is.

You could try.

I got a seven.

Yeah. You. You've never heard of it?

Did you post something on TikTok?

Did I what? Never mind, dear.

Never mind.

Nothing's been tick tocking anytime recently. The clock stopped working.

Never mind.

Can I do an insight check on that interaction? Because, like. Like on his face.

Oh, he's genuinely confused by what a TikTok is. Okay, he's also not young. I mean, this man's not like. He's not like an aging, decrepit grandpa by any stretch, but.

One sec. Let me get a control. A. Elliot, you know what TikTok is, right?

That's the sound your watch makes.

Okay, so that's just a general old man thing. Got it.

How about on Instagram?

It's a nice ball cap you got there, sonny. Look like you really fit the part out here.

Thanks.

Call me old.

She called you pretentious. Don't forget that.

I didn't say that.

She did not say it out loud. Okay, I don't.

Yeah. Jack was not an earshot.

Yeah, My. My kids keep telling me I should get that Instagram, but honestly, I think Facebook's too much hassle.

Only the old people are on Facebook anymore. Duh.

Oof.

Maybe I should try it again then.

That one hurt.

I wish it weren't true.

I know.

Out of character. I love the fact that, like, this guy's gonna let us stay here potentially in exchange for stories, and we're just being dicks.

It's cutting you a hell of a deal.

Hey, I gave him a good story.

That was a fair story. That was an amazing story.

That was a very good story.

I was scattered.

I helped fill in the blanks.

Anybody who's still curious about this guy, you can try rolling a perception check. As if you want.

All afternoon.

And I can't roll for 17.

17.

No.

Passive, passive.

The ink he's using is gold.

Interesting.

Well, I've never. I've never heard of your book, so. I don't know.

It was. Well, read when it first came out, but it's kind of fallen out of favor. You know how the literary scene is.

I'm not especially in tune with the literary scene.

How long ago did it come out?

Oh, it's been a fair couple of years. I was but a young man when it came out.

Oh, okay.

That's before I was born, then.

Oh, I'm positive it was well before your time.

Young lady, you're giving me flat for sounding like an asshole for you.

You're old.

I was legitimately doing, like, a control to see whether or not, like, the generally older people knew about TikTok, so that's what I was going for.

Ow.

That's karma right there, buddy.

Well, this has been fun. We really appreciate the chance to warm up. I think we wanted to check out the rest of town before it got too dark and look around a little bit, make sure.

Yeah, we're going to.

We need.

We appreciate it, and we're going to move on down the road.

Oh, it's getting close to nightfall. It's awful cold. You don't want to stay for the evening.

Plus, you know, most places are probably closed by now.

We have some very spirited rooms.

I'm sure you do. And that. Yeah, now we need to go saucers. We need to get on the road.

We're more interested in peaceful, restful rooms, not spirited ones.

Now we have some peaceful, restful rooms as well.

Bro, I could probably just fall asleep in this seat.

You know what? Out of character, I think this feels like a Persuasion role from the dm.

From the DM to you?

Yes.

Okay, like Persuasion.

Like me as the player. I do. What insight, wisdom. What do you think? Oh, damn.

I was gonna say I can roll my insight, but it's not.

Is it gonna matter? You sound like you just rolled really well.

No, I rolled terrible.

Okay, we'll see.

Because I'm like, I. The player is. No way in hell do I want to stay here. But I'm like, I don't know. Elliot might be persuaded.

I rolled a six on my insight. I add three.

Well, I rolled a 14 and I subtract one, so that's.

Yeah, my total was five, eight minus one.

Ooh, I got in that 20.

What's your persuasion?

But you're the one that wants to.

Say 12 are skeptical, are not being convinced.

I'm like, yeah, it is cold. It's dark.

I don't really want to get back on the horse right now.

I'm drunk.

I'm drunk. You did.

Elliot's probably feeling Pretty good too.

He's.

He's probably feeling pretty good. He's been drinking whiskey. Elliot's kind of like, ah, it's probably not that bad.

We'll have time to check out town tomorrow.

Everything's that bad. Everything's that bad.

Wait, what was your insight check?

Better. She rolled higher.

Rolled higher than he did.

Yep.

My passive nine didn't.

I'm right on the edge though. I could probably be convinced because the odds need to be.

You gotta work on this guy right here.

Weirdly enough, the one dude is like adamant that like I like this place.

We should stay.

He doesn't need to persuade you. You already wanted to stay.

So.

Yeah, that role was. Yeah.

Moot.

Moot. Yeah.

Jacob, what do you think?

Oh yeah, that's based it off of a kid.

He's asleep on Luke.

He's asleep like a kitty cat by the fire.

He and Charlie are both curled up together by the fire.

Jeff, what do you think?

Jeff's here. Oh, Jeff tells a psycho story. Oh, I'm sure.

Yeah, that'd be outrageous.

Insane that I'll maybe release his bonus content someday.

Yeah, no, Jeff, it definitely tells us.

Like whipped me again and again and again.

Jeff rolled quite well and he. He's used to hard living so he could take it or leave it. Frankly, this guy's not convincing Jeff.

But Jeff hasn't been fighting ghosts either, so.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Jeff's heard some of your guys stories as you've been writing about the ghosts. And he's sitting there like, look, you guys said this place is haunted.

I mean they advertised stuff in the gift shop would. Yeah.

I don't.

Because all those are totally accurate.

I'm not thrilled about the idea of staying in a haunted place. Like very, very clear.

That's a pretty nice place.

I'd rather fight another owlbear.

We didn't.

Jack says what?

I fought the owlbear.

We ran away from that thing screaming.

But I don't know if I remember it.

We never clarified screaming from another owlbear. I will very, very less interestingly tell Jack about the owlbear.

He's. He writes it down. But mostly anybody who's looking just sees Owlbear question mark written down on his book. Owlbear.

Well, great. Now it's dark. Now we need to stay.

Yeah, yeah. We've spent too long trying to deliberate whether or not we were staying or not. And now we're staying.

You guys have.

Well then I'll tell him the longer story of an owlbear.

Genuinely. Do you Guys, want to stay or not?

Sounds like we're gonna.

I'm convinced to stay.

Okay.

We're already warm and cozy and turnt. Let's get it done.

Listen, if you've got dinner here, I'm.

I'm sure the cook would be excited to cook something up for some folks other than just myself.

Also, I'm kind of tired of cooking.

Well, if we're not going, I'll have another brandy.

Same.

And the bartender who's been there the whole time refills your glass.

Hell yeah.

Many things, my lady.

Yikes.

If that came across creepy. He did not intend it that way. Meant it. Politicians, light and cordial.

It's just.

Nevermind.

Yeah, it's tricky to pull that one off.

I've never been called my lady before. I was flattered.

It's the joke about the guys that.

Wear the fedoras and can confirm. It is an awkward one to pull off.

It can work, but it's fair.

You gotta tip your hat first.

I didn't have a hat. I never have a hat when I say that.

Dumb.

Anyway.

Well, fantastic.

Cuz I don't spit game anyway.

Dante? Is that you?

James's eyes roll in the back of his head.

Dante.

Well, fantastic. We will go get your room prepared. Please enjoy the fire.

Can I ask what number room you're preparing?

I would like none of the rooms in the gift shop. Yes.

Oh no, I wouldn't put you in the gift shop.

No, I just meant they feature if there's numbers in the gift shop.

I don't want.

I don't want those.

I will have to see what's available. You just said the whole DM shorthand for. Hold on.

I'm scrooping first floor next to a door.

Hey, you want to be on the first floor, you'll hear all the commotion on me.

What commotion?

We have people who work through here.

Yeah, that's not going to be a problem.

Yeah, you'll have to hear the staff walking back and forth.

You know what? I'm fine with that.

Yeah, we do want all the rooms next to one another.

You heard the story about grip, right? You remember that?

Yeah, you saw a weird guy in the woods.

Oh, it gets so much worse.

Anyway, can we tell him that one after we've slowed?

Yeah, maybe we should.

Yeah. Well, in the meantime, feel free to walk around, take a look. This is a gorgeous, gorgeous building. You basically have the run of the place. Go ahead and explore around. We do ask that you not take any items out of the gift shop. We do Anticipate commerce being available again. And that stuff was expensive.

That's awful optimistic of you.

Yeah.

We lose power every winter. It'll come back okay.

Hopefully.

Well, that's the goal.

That's what we're trying to do better with. Trying to help you there with that.

That's weirdly pessimistic.

Innocently curious about. About random things.

What don't you remember?

Just being innocently curious about random things and wanting to go investigate. And now we're like shadow kill. I heard a noise, I draw my sword.

Everybody does not want to fuck with Goose.

If you want to see something particularly strange before it gets too much colder, we do have the Cryonyx museum just across the parking lot.

The what?

Thank you.

There's a frozen dead guy in there.

You what now?

That's a real thing?

Apparently.

Oh, I have to see this.

And the tour o knock must see this.

I'm. I'm good. I am good with frozen and dead things.

Anybody want to come with me? Because I'm going.

Oh, hell yeah, I'm going.

Yeah, let's go.

Well, God damn, I don't want to go, but the last time we spoke split up, we about died. We better go with you.

Yeah, that's probably a good point.

Oh, killjoy.

Yeah.

You want to go see a frozen dead body? Just go hang out outside.

It's nice to see them not moving for once.

It's probably moving now.

Hopefully.

Well, then it would be really funny to see a frozen dead guy attempting to get out of a thing.

I don't think that's funny at all.

That's not funny. I am not.

No, I am wildly curious how they made this last an hour. This tour took an hour. See a dead dude, an almost dead dude.

I guess technically I'm sure he's dead by now. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Once the power went out, he's gone.

And now he's undead. You know what?

Because the thing's probably not getting power anymore, so it's probably just another juicy dead guy. Never mind. I pass.

Juicy dead guy. That was an odd way to put it.

I don't think you've encountered any juicy dead guys.

Well, yeah, because he's defrosting, so he's still gooey.

Like I said, now he's a juicy undead guy.

Yeah, and he bet things are coming back to life, right?

Yeah, I know I've killed several of.

Them saying I'll get my sword. I guess we'll go kill him again.

Here I was holding on to your machete. For reasons. You can have that back.

What the hell did you.

You were asking for it the other day, so there it is.

Thanks. You're welcome. I think that's wild.

So, yeah, you guys go over there. What you see from what I can see appears to be. It looks like they intentionally made it look kind of like a sauna. Like a nice one with the wood detailing everywhere, which gives me the exact opposite vibe of what this man is trying to achieve. Which is what you see is a big stainless steel cylinder in the middle of a sauna with Alcor written all over it. And you get the information saying that this dude, they call it the Frozen Dead Guy Tour. And they give you a little bit of history on cryonics, which cryonics was the belief that you could flip freeze yourself now and be brought back later. Later when medicine is far more advanced. The idea being if you have a currently incurable, they could freeze you until they find the cure, bring you back out and cure you. Cure ya. The feller in the tube goes by the Breado Morestol. I believe that's how you would say this name. He is the most prized exhibit serving as an undeniable tie to Estes Park's renowned Frozen Dead Guy Days festival. What?

Not to say I have heard of that festival.

So I'm going to the Stanley Hotel one of these days. This is happening.

This place is getting cooler.

What the fuck is happening up there?

Okay. Yeah, they just have pamphlets. It used to be a video tour, so they have some pamphlets now. And you learn a fair bit about the correlation between cryonics and the storied legacy of this legendary event. All with the man himself, Bretto Marstol, as the centerpiece.

Does it say when they froze? Said Bretto.

Probably. When did they freeze?

This is a fun thing to have.

In a hotel or next to a hotel.

It is also supposedly very haunted.

Yeah, I was gonna say especially a.

Hotel with the reputation like 89.

89.

Wow.

I feel like that's finding out that they used to embalm bodies in the basement of the Hotel Colorado or something.

So in the pamphlet you see that in 1989, a Norwegian citizen named Tryggvog, okay, maybe brought the corpse of his recently deceased grandfather, Brito Marstol. The second O has the slashy thing through it. So that changes how it's pronounced, but I don't know how.

I think it's still a har O, but I don't know.

Arstuhl.

Arstuhl. To the United States. The body was preserved on dry ice for the trip and stored in liquid nitrogen at the Trans Time Cryonics facility in San Leandro, California from 90 to 93.

That apparently existed.

Apparently. What the hell?

I didn't realize we were that into cryogenics that like, in that time frame, I had no idea.

Oh, I remember if he was a.

Thing a little late. Like, I thought you were supposed to freeze them before. Before they died.

That was always my thoughts. But that's a side note.

No, that's killing somebody. That's against the law. You have to wait till they die first.

So they also tell you, because this is a little bit of local branding, they wanted you to come back for the festival. Frozen Dead Guy Days, One of Colorado's most beloved annual events. Says them to a room of colored that are learning about this.

Yeah, I've heard of the Frozen Dead Guy Festival, but I thought it had to do with someone freezing to death in the national park, so it makes sense.

Right next to Rocky Mountain National Park. Yeah, a famously cold area.

I feel like this is like the beloved Mike the Headless Chicken base. This like breaks up there with Mike the Headless Chicken.

All of Colorado celebrates.

No, they don't.

One place.

No, that's sick.

It's really fucked up.

So they do coffin races.

I have heard of the coffin races.

I thought they.

They do a polar plunge.

Okay.

A frostbite fashion show.

What does that consist of? I would love to see pictures. Oh, my God. If we can post that on Instagram.

In makeup.

Okay.

So that it says the story is. Grandpaporeto is over 120 years old. Sort of. For years, he was the resident of a tough shed in the hills above Nederland, Colorado, just 40 miles south of Estes park, where he remained very, very, very cold.

What the fuck is going on?

The worst part is, like, you could.

Freeze this content up.

No. This is wild.

Yeah.

I feel like there's something for us to do. And then we've just gone down. Absolutely.

We're going down a rabbit hole now.

Rabbit hole.

These days, Grandpa is still frozen in a state of suspended animation awaiting the.

Big thaw that's generous.

The one that will bring him back to life. There's a good story behind this one that stretches from Norway to California to Colorado, involving cryonics, deportation, psychics, celebrations, and a dedicated iceman and a cryonics rescue mission.

So what I'm hearing is that we need to.

We gotta go kill Grandpa.

Here's the thing.

Grandpa's gonna come back.

I'm assuming that James or Maybe every reading this out loud to us while we're standing in the thing and about halfway Mel's like. And this is why I don't read. This is fucking stupid.

Like, he's a grandpa.

He died from a heart condition in 89. He's dead. This is a dead dude in an ice box. He enjoyed.

He's just very well preserved. And ice. Yeah. They're not bringing him back. That's not how cry. Like, that's not cryogenics. He's just frozen.

So what's funny is that it's actually cold enough that he's probably still frozen. Even though power doesn't work anymore. He's probably still frozen.

I'm told you he's undead now like every other thing that isn't die.

He's just the first ice mummy.

Yeah, well, man made.

They found man made ice mummy. Yeah, fair.

So big bigger question is this like.

Speaking of, they find them in Norway a lot for some reason.

So it's like a solid metal tube.

There was one 25.

It could just be a stainless steel tube.

Does it.

Yeah, that's true.

There might not be nobody in there.

Does it have like punch marks? Like something's been trying to get out of it?

You're not there.

We're not there.

You decided not to go. I thought.

No, I thought we're lurking in the.

Back of the group not to split.

Up because the last time we split.

Up, three of us for reception check, I guess, while you roll. Before grandfather, Breda Morstal died from a heart condition in 89. He enjoyed a comfortable life in Norway where he was born and raised. He loves painting, fishing, skiing and hiking. He was also the director of Parks and Rec in Norway's Barum county for more than 30 years.

So his after life is way more interesting than his life is what I'm hearing.

Yeah, he's a lot cooler now.

I got 22 on the perception check. God damn it.

Oh my God.

Now you hear some knocking sounds.

I told you that we gotta kill grandpa. We could have just rode down the road and ignored the hotel. No, now we gotta come here and kill abominable grandpa. Well, let's roll initiative and get after it.

How the hell are we gonna punch through a steel tube to kill.

We wait for him to.

We're gonna wait for him to punch his way out.

How strong is undead grandpa? Undead frozen grandpa.

I don't know if I want to thaw him out wild.

Let's see how fast the DM can build a bad guy.

Is there an ice zombie. There's gotta be ice zombies in my ice window.

I feel like we should take a break for a second.

Yeah, we are absolutely gonna take a break. That was an insane rabbit hole. Welcome in. Please come warm yourself by the fire. It's getting awfully cold out there and you never know what may be lurking just out of sight. As you warm up, let me regale you with a brief story of my own. I've heard tale of a group of hardened mercenaries fighting their way out of Los Angeles to escort a father trying to make things right with his daughter. The leader is a bard, the scout's a monk, the muscle a fighter, and the stealth expert's a rogue. Their travels take him through a crazy medical facility, over the mountains, across the universe, and so much more. If this story is at all interesting, you can hear it in more detail on our Patreon. $5 a month gets you access to this story, as well as early access to unabridged ad free episodes. However, we all understand that times are hard, especially with the holidays. So if a less expensive option is more up your alley, please follow us on the social medias like and subscribe to our content on your preferred listening app and share us with your friends. Links to all of this are found in the podcast description. Hmm. Well, it sounds like my other guests are having quite the restless night's sleep. I should make sure that they're doing okay. You can see yourself out when you are ready. Now let's go ahead and roll for initiative.

Boy, what a tangent. We have found ourselves upon YAR tracks.

My only decent roll so far this summer.

I feel pretty good about this one.

I am freaking on it as well.

Emery.

17.

How much you all want to bet that Elliot's gonna go first?

I'm almost positive I'll be shocked.

He is on site, bro. He is ready to go.

27. God damn, I can roll higher than that.

Yeah, I've seen you roll higher than that.

32 that one time, Bulldog. 21.

21.

Nice.

That's because I didn't start this this time.

Mel.

9.

James.

Mel. Chug that.

I got a natural 20 and the highest I can get is a 23.

She's not very alert right now.

Nope.

All right.

You drank this second brand.

I did. I chugged it because I was really disappointed. Wait, we're leaving. Wait, we're. We're. Are we okay, we're not leaving. We're leaving. Oh, fine.

Everything on that side looks correct. Yes. All right, Elliot.

So Elliot's hearing the crashing on The. The room that we're in. Can I get a. Just a quick overview of the room?

Yeah.

What's the size of it? Where's the cylinder? Where's the door?

Call it a 40x40. Door is to the south. There's about. We'll say there's 15ft from the door to the display room thing that frozen dead dude's in. He's in like a 5x5 fish room with the container basically occupying most of it. Like, it's like he's like kind of sort of sealed off from you because they don't want people fucking with it.

Okay.

You see a door. It's five by five up at the corner. You see a door on its. And then there's just like tables that display shit in the other corner.

Okay.

Pretty bare bones room. It was mostly meant to just hold some people while a dude talked weird shit at.

You got it. I'm gonna move to the southwest corner, which should be as far away as I can get.

Okay.

And I'm gonna draw my bow. And if I can see somebody once he busts out, I'm gonna take a shot.

Okay. James Elliot moved to a quarter.

Ready. I'm gonna prep a firebolt, I guess.

Okay.

For once I see frozen dead dude.

Okay, hold on. James is holding his hands.

Okay. He's Kamehameh.

He's starting a three turn.

Hold on.

I gotta get the combo right.

So nothing's out yet.

Nothing's out yet.

But we're hearing noises.

You just currently hear metal bonging sounds because something is banging on a metal inside.

Okay. I don't know what it is.

The cylinder's inside the five foot.

Yeah. It's slightly bigger than five, but it's practically.

Okay.

There's not enough room for you guys to want to be in there.

Yeah, it's like. It's like a glass.

Yeah, it's kind of got like. It's got big windows in it, but it's got like farm wood.

Okay.

It looks like they're trying to recreate that sauna aesthetic.

Gotcha.

With big viewing windows into the metal tube room he's in.

Okay, thank you.

Just big enough to contain the metal tube.

What a fucking weird room design.

Which is just. And that's genuine. That's off their side.

Everything about it.

So Ulnock is going to go into a rage and proceed to the front of the room in front of the canister.

Okay. So you're going to where the door would be. Where the door is.

I want to be a bullet sponge. If shit goes down, I want to take the damage.

Okay. Are you opening door, leaving door closed?

I'd start hitting it. Because if you don't attack anything, you pop out of rage.

Or. Well, if something attacks me, I will be the first thing it sees.

That's assuming he gets out of the cylinder this round.

True. In which case we'll have to go into a rage again, which is not a great idea.

We got several. We're gonna long rest right after this.

Yeah. Fair.

Yeah.

You can burn all your rages on this encounter.

I'm gonna stay safe and stick with that rage thought. And we're gonna go in. Let's open the door.

Okay, perfect. So you see in this room, a big metal cylinder with a lot of hoses and wires and shit connected to the base of it. Do you see a growing puddle of water underneath?

Okay.

You would think it would be a fire hazard if there was still electricity, Right? But it's currently not a fire hazard.

No.

Are there like, fist prints on the wall?

The bonging is louder.

Okay.

Because the door is open to the room that the bonging is occurring.

That's logical.

Makes sense.

And the bonging intensifies. Emery, your turn.

I'm gonna cast mage armor on myself.

That's smart. Takes you to a 14, correct?

Yes. I should have moved away.

Quick question here.

Would you reset?

Okay.

Yeah. Especially considering you weren't in the last combat either. You've reset. It's been a minute since you've fought anything.

It was at a 4, but I rolled a 2.

2.

Valid question.

Oh, boy.

I had to know.

Fair? Fair.

So we're out of two now.

It's good.

We're fine.

I don't know why, but like, as a player, like, I get a visceral reaction anytime somebody casts his mage armor. Now just like, oh, God, it's going.

To blow you in two campaigns with a wild magic.

Yeah, that does sort of change your appreciation for mage armor.

Do you do anything else?

I look to move. I want to be in the. See, Elliot went southwest. I'm going to move just like a little bit north of Elliot.

Okay.

I'm also in that corner, but yeah, I just don't want to be near the open door to the thing.

Did you draw out a map?

Huh?

Did you draw out a map?

Yeah.

Can I see it? Make sure I described. If not, I'm just going to adjust.

I made a little square. That's the southwest. That's where Elliot is. I'm here alock went here and opened this door.

So to describe it better. I did a bad job. He. The room is in the northeast corner, northwest corner. Or if you wanted to be opposite of it, it could be in the northeast corner.

Put it in the north.

Yeah. Okay.

Because I wanted to be in the opposite.

It's not dead center of the room, so you get the feeling that there was a decent sized seating area.

Gotcha. So it's kind of an auditorium with.

This thing with a weird display thing in the corner.

Gotcha.

In the northeast corner.

Okay. I'm going to stick to what I said though, and stay next to Elliot.

Perfect.

And then the door would be here.

Here, so.

Or on the side.

Yep. That's where the more and more we.

Discuss this thing, the more and more I want to see it in real life. My God, is this bonkers?

Yeah.

I want to.

I want to go to this park.

Road trip.

Road trip.

Anything else?

No.

We should intensifies ride horses there. Bombing gets crazy loud and you hear cracking.

Hate that.

And I don't know what sounds metal makes when it gets ripped over. Hear that really loud tin can getting shredded.

Oh, yeah.

Well, the tin can is losing the fight.

Doesn't like this, but she's gonna follow Olmok whilst drawing her machete. I almost did too. I'll go hide by em. Wait, no, that's not helpful.

I gotta do one more thing. Sorry, I forgot somebody.

Like I feel confident. We left Jacob and Jess sleeping.

Jeff. Jacob.

Charlie.

I'm in the haunted hotel.

Look, our judgment's not the best all the time.

It's the allegedly haunted hotel.

Exactly.

Genuinely gonna have to be be convinced that you did not bring the kid with you on from the haunted hotel.

Ah, maybe they're right outside the door to this room.

Well, I guess my thought on that would have been they were sleeping by the fire. There's outside.

I thought there was.

It's a different building.

Yeah, we have to go to the building.

You went to a different building?

Okay, it's like.

It's got like a whole compound of buildings around it. You went across the parking lot to a different building.

And that's why my thought is, is that if they're sleeping. Sleeping in front of the fire, we probably would have left him there, but maybe not with.

With Jack.

With Jeff.

With Jack, Jeff and the ghosties and Charlie. What ghosties would you think it's a haunted.

Stop saying that.

I think it's a haunted responsible adult. We can leave a child with Jeff.

Jeff has experienced that. We can't even begin to imagine.

All right, we Will discuss that judgment someday. The batshit crazy cult guy you know very little about is babysitting the haunted hotel.

I don't love it. I didn't want to come. Look, I didn't want to come. Damn it.

All right, so you go up, you draw your machete.

I go into a rage at all times. I thought this was the stupid idea. And now we're in here fighting undead Grandpa and Jacob said they were all ghosties.

This is getting out of hand. Now there's two barbarians.

Yes. But going in.

If I don't have anything to shoot at, I'm going to continue holding my action to shoot when something pops up.

Makes sense. James.

Copy paste.

Okay. Oh, knock the.

So nothing attacked me.

No, but there is a raging monkey. There is very obviously a very angry little woman that has not joined you in this room.

Like this is a raging monkey. I'm doing a bad job of describing this situation.

Now I'm just seeing a blonde gorilla.

I'm seeing it. Yeah, you're seeing it starting to crack up.

Opening.

You can see, like, the tips of fingers prying.

Okay.

And there's cool. Literally cool. Fog, misty, pouring out.

How far am I away from him?

You are. I said it was five feet.

Okay, so we're really close.

Yeah, we're like, right up on.

So no ranged attack.

No.

So I can't take a pot shot.

We're talking like, the crack's wide enough that his fingertips are through.

He's just barely.

Yeah, like an arrow could slip in there.

Yeah.

But he's effectively got full cover.

Yeah.

And I'm too close, which does rules in the Indian stuff.

So we're just going to rage again because I lost it.

You can hit him.

You can also take a swing at it.

Like a reckless.

You can hold your action that when he breaks out, you can go into a rage.

Okay, let's do that. I didn't know I could do that. I thought I had to do that.

On my turn now. You can hold your action that when he busts out, you can hold on.

That's what I want.

I'll stand at the ready.

If he comes out, I'm going to rage and I'm going to fucking make a hit upon ye.

Well, you won't get it.

One or the other.

I want to.

Yeah. No, hit your rage.

Rage. Okay.

Yeah. Rage first. That'll give you damage resistance. And then when it's your turn, then hit him.

Then I can hit him back after he almost guarantees hits me. Got it.

That works.

My God, he's Swedish grandpa.

No, he's Norwegian.

He's Norwegian.

And we don't know the difference between those accents because I'm not that worldly.

No.

Same. The only Norwegian dude I've ever met was a gigantic black man who spoke exactly like we do. But his dad was a priest and he did do a metal band for a while. He was a genuine Norwegian.

Sweet.

Fascinating.

He was just big soap. She was like, casey, okay. Not you.

I'm like.

No. This gigantic redhead we worked with. Yes.

Not me.

He does strongman and is now bare knuckle boxing training. That's gonna be fun.

God damn.

Yeah. His head. His hands can punch your whole face.

He's got ham hocks for hands. Whoever he hits is gonna get hurt.

So you now see another pair of. You call them fingers.

Okay.

At the top.

Wait, what? How many people are supposed to be in here?

What the fuck you would call them fingers? They are not finger colored.

I don't like that.

So we're all ready to fight Frozen Grandpa. Then another set of hands disappear in the fucking thing.

They appear to be trying, but they are making no more progress opening the metal. For what it's worth, they're just there.

Are we fighting Shiva? What's happening right now?

Emery? You see none of that.

Yeah.

You hear tearing metal. You see.

Oh my God.

Get really pissed off and then calm down immediately thereafter.

I was excited.

All right.

I let Fog cooled him down.

He opens the fuck out of a door just angrily.

Cool.

I'm going to move up and tap Mel on the shoulder. I'm gonna cast dragon breath on her.

Mel twitches.

Mel's still yelling at ulnar fire damage.

That makes sense.

Mel immediately uses it on ulnock because she's not expecting this to happen.

So you. You get to. You can breathe fire in a 15 foot cone. Now that's cool. And it does 3D6 damage.

That's awesome. Thanks.

And I'm going to also. That's a bonus action spell. So I'm going to action cast true strike my point finger at a target in range. It grants me a brief insight into its defenses.

Do you have to see the creature? Because currently you can see a large metal can.

It did say creature in range.

I ran up behind Mel. I'm close now.

Okay.

I don't. If you think it. It doesn't say anything about inside sight. It just says point your finger at a target in range.

As long as it's in range, you don't have fail.

Which set of fingers? Question I've never asked.

I Think I start at the low end of like what the.

So you're pointing at the upper one. Okay.

I don't think I've ever heard a sentence more confusing and yet so ominous at the same time.

Unsettled. Thank you.

What does true strike allow? What does this do?

It gives me advantage on my next attack. Roll against it.

Okay, cool. You have. You have advantage against the top fingers.

Cool.

And because you're looking at them really hard, they are white. Quite white. You don't see like a nail bed or anything. You don't see the creases of knuckles. They almost appear here. Kind of like see through crystally.

I hate that.

What the. What the do we flavor text our way into?

Is that it for your turn?

That's it for my turn. That's move. That's full movement. Action. Bonus action.

Shortly thereafter, a set of very similar looking fingers appear below the big fingers.

Oh.

And then the big fingers rip open the cage. Standing there is a tree.

Cobalt, wearing a triangle and a drink.

Can only be described as a frozen dead guy. Whose eyes when he opens them to look at you guys. Three trio who are standing near the door are like wicked bright flashlights of blue. Icy cold light.

Great.

Fighting a white walker.

Yeah.

Literally casting light out of them towards you folks.

Okay.

Having fully opened up the can, you also see that there are two what appear to be best described as little ice guys.

Little ice golems.

Yeah.

All right.

That's it.

No more Mr. Ice guys.

They've got wicked long noses. They got little bat frozen bat wings.

Great.

Maybe they're friendly.

And they also are completely white. Including their eyes.

Yeah, they seem chill.

They do seem very chill.

James, I'm gonna punch you again.

I'm not with him.

Anyway. All three of you to make awesome.

I feel good about running saving.

Why?

Is it wisdom?

Fuck.

All right.

Hell.

That's not good.

It's not good for me either.

Passive 9.

You don't get passive.

There's no passive on these.

Okay, then it's an 8.

12.

You did go into a rage though. That was your held.

Oh yeah. He did go into a rage.

I did. Yeah. Because I saw things.

I'm very angry about this. Yes. Does that do anything?

No, not yet. I just have regular rage.

It'll help him with damage resistance. That's always got to get.

I got a four, so we're doing great.

You got what? Sorry.

12.

12. Its save is something. What?

You don't have this thing prepped? What the heck?

Yeah. Wild.

I knew running up close to Combat was a risk, but.

Oh, well, that's my job.

I am so behind you guys.

You are. I will take damage first. Oh, hopefully. Hopefully.

It's a wisdom save. Actually, it's probably psychic damage.

It will be. I was going to let him finish and then I was going to fire.

You all three fail.

Great.

I finally found it. You all three fail. You are frightened.

Yeah, I would say so.

Is that conditions? Yes, it is. It means you cannot move closer and.

You have disadvantage on attacks while the creature you're afraid of is in sight.

Yar, is there anything about if you're in a rage, being resistant or immune to being frightened?

I don't think so.

That would be very important. No, Right.

That's the mindless rage thing.

Okay.

Oh, that. He doesn't.

He'll get there.

But he's got there. Yeah.

Gotcha.

It kills any charm or frightened effects.

Ah.

Okay.

Now this guy's a special scary. Your speed is reduced by 10.

Okay. So I'm normal moving same.

Yeah. Your plus 10 is now no longer there.

So I've been. I've been moving wrong the whole campaign. Anyway.

That's up.

Guess I'm new. Anyway.

Yeah.

At the end of each turn, you can try to save again.

Okay, cool.

That's gonna be.

You will also have disadvantage on strength saving throws, which means you just have normal strength saving throws.

Yes. No Plus. Got it. Oh, no. Does that saving throw. So you still get the plus. It's just.

You can't. Yeah, you just don't get the plus.

You just roll the one die.

They have advantage, I think.

Got it.

You don't anymore. Yeah, you do have disadvantage.

Yeah.

And it steps out. So now your action can fire. And I believe I was holding fire as well.

Yeah.

And you're angry.

Yes, that is correct. I'm mad that I'm scared. I don't like it.

I got a 19 for that Firebolt that hits. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I got 22 with the arrow. Seven points piercing and I got 18.

Points of fire damage.

I should do something. I hope.

I would say chill out, but I'm hitting him with fire.

You have a nasty fire bolt.

You did how much? Sorry?

Fireball 18. Yeah, it's 2D20s.

That would be awesome.

Sorry, I don't think so. I was looking at a D20 when I said that. I would like to clarify, I meant to. To say 2d10s. I am indeed rolling the correct damage dice.

I'm going to request that that's observed. Kidding. Mel. There's a scary motherfucker up in front of you.

Is he within, like within melee range of me at the moment?

He is in. Within. He is within melee range of Polnok. He's in a room. So there's a wall. You were behind Ulnok, so not quite with you.

Okay. Can I without moving any closer because I am terrified of this thing, do my dragon's breath without hitting Ulnok?

No, not without hitting Ulnok. It's doorway. Ulnock you in any way.

You phrase this and I can't move any closer.

No. Can I do a danger sense?

I don't know.

It's a dexterity saving throw, but I don't know how that works.

Gives you an advantage on dex saves. If you can see stuff coming and.

You will specifically not see it coming.

I think behind grab.

I mean, I mean you can absolutely light that off.

I kind of want to, but I kind of would feel bad if I hit. Hold on.

You're going to. If you want to hit this thing, you have to hit.

To be fair, I am raging.

Yeah.

You did get frightened and have a magic spell cast.

I know. I honestly think that this.

I think this would happen.

I was gonna open her mouth to scream and it's just gonna happen.

Come out as fire.

Kinda. Yeah.

Perfect. What does.

It's a deck save for everything in.

The radius and it's 3D6 and that saves.

You don't see it coming. It's for coming from behind.

Okay, so I don't get my advantage, but I do get the deck save in my modifier.

Yep, yep.

Okay, so it's nine points of fire damage for those 15. So you saved.

Which would be half Daniel, half again.

Because of the.

Yeah.

So half of nine is five, half again is two. So you only take two damage.

Okay. 12 to save does not save. Okay.

Still. DC is 14.

Cool.

So the scary as hell dead dude takes four nine points.

The two little imp guys are also in the 15.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

I'd like to think also that there's now an olnog shaped outline in your.

Fireball in this wall. Ah, it's hot. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Mel, you feel properly warm for a moment.

So Mel opens her mouth to scream and fire comes out, which rather surprises her, not realizing exactly what Emery has done to her. And she backs up because she's afraid of him.

Sure. That makes sense.

That's Mel still has magic.

I didn't do that.

You saw me cast that spell.

And I do get to roll to resave, right?

Yes.

For all I know you did. Like some other magic moment.

11. I'm still afraid you are.

All right. All right. Elliot, Mel just had a terrible case of heartburn. That was a scary son. Bitch stepped out of the.

Elliot's going to cast hunter's mark on the scary sombitch.

Okay.

That's a bonus action. He's going to use his action. He's going to get two attacks.

Okay.

All right. First attack. Oh, yeah. 18 plus, like 8. So that one's gonna hit 4, 5, 6, 7, 10 points of magical piercing damage. He's gonna try to sharpshooter his second attack.

Okay.

Ah, misses. Probably eight.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right. That's what he's got.

Perfect.

He's staying where he's at.

Fair logical.

James, rinse and repeat. I'm gonna hit him with another Firebolt release attempt too.

Okay.

Yeah. That is another 19. Same die, same result.

Okay.

That's a pistol. I almost rolled. Wrong one.

Yeah, you don't.

Yeah, I don't have my pistol out.

Stop rolling.

Damn it. Oh, that's only four points of fire damage. That's something marketed unimprovement.

Will you guys get out of the way?

I'm trying to hit the damn thing.

Oh, nock. There is a scary son of a.

I'm still running mad at it.

You're mad at it. You're frightened of it. And there's two little guys that don't look great anymore. They're melting.

I'm going for the one in the middle and I'm going to use my extra attack because I want to attack it.

And the one in the middle is big scary dude.

Yes.

Okay, go for it.

So explain the disadvantage again.

You have it.

Okay, so I just got a roll.

Two twice. Tick to lower because he's spooky. You're quite getting your space.

Those are identical. Gonna go at him with the great axe with the plus six. So 15 regardless, because I rolled exactly the same on both sides.

Just hits.

Nice.

How many ouchies D?

12 plus 5 max damage. 17.

Hell yeah.

Twice. Oh, no. I gotta roll up for. That's his first one.

Okay.

Yeah.

So first one for 12 plus five. 17.

Good.

Eight plus six.

14 just hits. Yep.

One minus max damage. So 16.

Cool. All right, you're figured out how to do.

Oh, and I gotta scare. I gotta unroll to see if I'm still scared. Yep, I am. That's a three. Okay, I'm scared. But I'm him. Up.

Be seen.

I didn't realize there was special circumstances that you'd Be met with that. Oh, no, that's on me. That's my fault. I could have been fucking shit up a lot longer. I've had that for a while.

I need the Trio of Fear roll. A dexterity save.

Okay, great.

Do I get my advantage on this one?

Can he see it?

You see it coming? Yes.

19 pass.

10 fail.

I'm doing great.

You take five. You take five halves.

Yeah, that didn't help. So nine plus two 11 fail.

So you take whatever. You take full five halves because you're mad. Yeah.

That brings me down to 2.

2. So ulnock takes 2. 2 bur damage. It opens up its mouth, not unlike how Mel just did. Except instead of fire. Icy cold.

So I just got icy hot.

Yeah.

Yeah, because I just got. Ah, that's hot. Oh, that's cold.

The front's cold, the back's hot.

Yep. And you take full five damage.

Cool.

I'm at 46, by the way.

Because.

I took two from Mel's and then.

Two from that guy I passed.

You did?

Yeah.

Yeah. You still take half damage.

Oh, okay.

He also takes half because he's angry.

Gotcha.

Okay.

Emery took the full hit.

I took full damage, but half because I'm mad.

And this little dude is going to fly out through the door up above.

Oh, no.

We've set it loose into the room. Coming for. Go for Elliot. Moves into melee with Elliot. Or near you. Doesn't move into melee. Moves near you.

Oh, you know the old moniker, Age before beauty. Jesus Christ.

That's a crush flying at you.

I like its noise. I like it.

I did not like that.

Spooky.

I remain unsettled.

Emery, an unsettling thing flies near you. And a scary motherf.

Er God.

Just standing in front of Uma.

I am going to cast a chaos bolt at the one that I true striked.

Well, we'll say that's the one that flew to Elliot.

Great. So I'm gonna roll to attack it.

I thought you true strike the big guy.

Strike a little bit.

Okay. Okay, that's fine.

21 to hit.

Yeah, that does it.

This is the complicated one. So give me a second here. It's acid damage.

Okay.

It does 10 acid damage.

Nice.

Okay, it looks pretty up.

We're good.

His boy. Howdy. Was there ever a time for a fireball. It's when you're like, up close and personal with two of our members.

Yeah.

And I am going to also back away from this door, not towards Elliot. I'm gonna go like down to like the south east side. Not all the way to the corner. I'm kind of in the middle of.

The room, but okay. Yeah.

And that's my turn. Oh, hang on. Let me see if I save.

Yep.

No.

Okay. And did you roll for your wild magic?

Yes.

Okay, we're up to three, Then we're up to four. Up to four. All right. Ready? Glad I reset that.

Yes, I am too. We're already back up to where I was.

Yeah.

Yeah. That was quick.

I've cast several spells.

Cool.

My damage can trip. Does ice damage.

That's probably.

God.

That might heal them.

I figured it's probably not the play in this scenario.

It gets bigger.

The next. The other little guy, who also looks pretty fucking rough, opens its mouth, and instead of an icy blast, thick, dense fog.

Oh, good.

Erupts from its mouth, heavily obscuring it. And the spooky guy.

Oh, man.

And old Doc is also obscured because he's right there.

I'm right in the thick of it. It's what I do.

In the thick of it.

Into the thick of it.

Ugh.

And then it does things that you don't see occur.

Damn it. I'm blinded. Huh?

Effectively. Then things occur. Such as?

I don't like.

No, don't do that. The awkward silence and then say, that's cool.

Cool. I need you moved. So I need Ulnock and Mel to make a strength saving throw.

Strength saving throw.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah. You have advantage.

21. 21.

You don't have advantage because of the.

That's a straight roll.

Okay.

Okay.

15 plus 6.

And you have disadvantage on strength.

I like that first roll.

That was a good roll.

So sorry, what was it? Ulnok.

15 plus 6. 21.

It's still 18.

Cool. You both save. You feel wind kick up behind you trying to pull you into the room. That. It's in all the pamphlets and stuff in the corner of the room. Co whipping past your head, sucked into to the fog.

Okay.

Paper cuts.

Oh, God.

Death by a thousand paper cuts.

And that wind effectively dissipates the breeze. So you can see big dude again. Yeah, sorry. Doesn't dissipate the breeze. That'd be weird. Dissipates the fog. So you see the big dude. Little dude's missing.

What'd he do? He sucked them in like a vacuum.

Where the fuck did that little thing go?

He hit him.

You think he ate him? Um, sorry. This dude doesn't want to shoot. Both of you take 11 cold damage and your movement is halved.

After saving.

This is a separate thing. Is that. Is mine halved?

Christ.

This is a separate thing. This is in addition to the 10 that's been reduced already. You guys are getting slowed by his being near.

Okay, so I'm 20ft now, movement wise. But I can't move away. I can't move closer to him anyway.

Minus 10 is 30. Halved 15.

But both have 40ft.

I follow.

Right.

I have 40ft and now I'm 30. So that's just movement. What was the damage?

I take 11.

Is that halves for me? Because I'm in a rage.

It's cold, so.

No. Yes.

No, I think you're having cold.

No. The only. The only thing he doesn't take resistance is psychic damage. Yeah, he's got resistance to everything else.

So that's six.

Six.

Six to unok.

Six or five?

Six.

Six.

Okay. Oh, I guess it would be five. Sorry. Eleven halved is five, right?

Oh, sorry. I was reading my addition.

Mel takes all of them.

Yep.

It's not great.

No.

And it's your turn. Spooky dude called it you. Ouch.

I can see him now though, right?

You can see him?

Yeah, he's back.

He just kind of like limped his foggy downside.

And I'm still not in melee with him. And Ulnock's still between me and him.

Correct. That situation has not changed.

Okay. I am going to drop my machete and draw my short bow and attempt to hit him with that. It's disadvantaged though, because I'm.

Yep, yep.

That's a miss on the first one.

Okay.

I'm really not great with the bow. That's miss on the second one.

Cool.

Because you don't practice enough. That's why I keep telling you you gotta practice.

Elliott's the ceiling anchor.

Yeah. Belle's over here. She's absolutely terrified. So she's like drawing all the way up past her ear. This will give me more power.

I can't imagine shooting a bow. Scared would work very well.

No.

Yeah. Panic fire.

Panic fire.

Especially when you're getting colded to ouches.

Ah.

Nat. 20. I saved on my wisdom.

Okay. You are no longer frightened and you are immune to being further frightened. I'm telling you so I don't have a chance to forget.

I got.

Does it put her speed back as well?

You get the 10 back.

Okay.

You are still half so now you're to 20ft.

Okay, thank you.

Because your speed's still halved.

Yes, but it's okay.

So you sort of only get five back.

40 to 20. Got it.

I gotcha. Okay. Cool. I am not scared anymore and I am angry.

There we go. Yes.

It's useful in certain ways.

Don't get scared, get angry.

There was a hell of a windstorm. Some fog was there briefly and you've got a little dude getting up near you.

So ice creature number two you said had flown out towards me. But he was not in melee, he.

Was just out of melee.

Perfect. I am going to throw that bow at him. He doesn't get the hunter's mark damage with the sharpshooter feet.

Okay.

So yeah. 21 to hit.

Yeah.

20 points of piercing damage.

Good lord.

Fuck that guy.

And he explodes.

Perfect.

With my second shot.

Go flying around.

But you are unhooked with my second shot. I can see scary frozen dead dude.

You can see scary frozen dead dude. Okay.

I'm going to sharpshooter him cuz he's the one that's under marked.

Okay.

Maybe 16 to hit.

Yep.

Sweet. Oh God. That's going to be 23 points of piercing damage. Magical piercing damage.

Yep. Doesn't that magical. Doesn't matter.

Oh, okay. I'll just give you total.

He takes it. He's not stoked.

You bitch.

Jimmy, I'mma swapped my longbow because the fire kind of fizzled. So I'm going to try shooting the main spooky dude with the longbow. Plus I can get sneak attack theoretically. Hiya. That is a. I can do math. 15 to hit.

Yep.

Sweet. For a whopping one sec.

Sorry.

That's 21 points of piercing damage.

It hits. He's not looking great. But he didn't look good to begin with. So judge that how you want.

He was frozen dead guy.

Yeah, he was the frozen not suddenly unfrozen alive guy.

So he's been frozen and dead since 89.

It's been a while rough from the jump.

Yeah.

Why do I feel like he like he's. He's got like freezer burned.

He's got like the white patches.

Yeah, for sure.

There's nothing in this room that I could hide behind in any way. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I kind of figured.

He's not a small creature.

He doesn't even get to do that.

Yeah, that'd be great. All right, that's my turn then.

But it is Ulnock's turn. This scary dude's right up in your grill still.

We're gonna hit him twice again if we can get go trey and then not attacks. So I roll with disadvantage.

Yeah.

Fucking that's gonna probably hit cuz. 13 plus 6 is 19 last I checked.

Yep. Yep. That hits.

How's math change?

How many ouches does that do?

Sixteen. Oh, fuck. Well, that's not great. Seven plus six. Thirteen. Damn.

He bets that one away with his weirdly hard forearm.

Yeah. Why aren't you dead again?

You're just chipping.

You've taken so much damage.

Little ice chips off of him.

Horrible.

Ice crew's dead, Emery.

Great. I'm going to very scared. I am very scared. I'm gonna try to hit him with a chaos bolt. We'll see how this goes.

You sound so skeptical.

It's a Nat 20 or a 6? 6.

6 misses.

6 plus 6. Plus 6. Never mind.

A.

We're good.

I was going to say like. Like the luck absolutely would have been in that one.

On that I'm out of five.

Out of five. So 25% chance.

Yeah. I'm going to back away. More fair. I'm going to roll to save. Nope, I don't save.

Oh, I didn't roll to save. Should I do that now?

I totally should have moved away from memory.

Doesn't matter. 10.

Welcome to the Downside of being a strength based, not wisdom based. Yeah, my fighter never saves.

Oh, that's a nine. Never mind. Yeah, because of the minus one. I didn't do that yet.

Yep. Kai could never not be scared. Just fucking. Yeah. Yeah. And he always got frightened when he was nowhere fucking near the fight either. So he could never get closer to it.

It kind of sucks having a chicken for a frontline fight here.

It's a good thing I ran in first. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I'm close. Hopefully he stays there.

You can't move closer, but you don't have to move away.

Yeah.

We don't know where Ice Creature one went, do we?

Nope. You don't?

Oh, we just know he disappeared.

Let's do the boring one.

Do that.

It sounds great.

All right, go ahead and give me another Strength throw you to save. Sorry. Strength save you two.

13.

Not a great one this time.

No, it wasn't. Neither of you pass. So now things happen that did not occur last time. So this time you can actually even see it. He opens his mouth and just sucks hard. And you both get knocked prone by the gust of wind.

Fuck. Okay.

And you get pulled as close to him as you can be. You're there. So you both do, however, take three bludgeoning damage.

So have two. One. I'm really liking that. That's helping me a lot.

Bell takes three damage.

Yup.

And is both knocked prone.

Oh, hey, I can see it fully now. Oh, God.

Yeah.

And.

This guy doesn't really do much, but you both take 11 damage from being near him.

He sucks.

Which is Aved for Olnok 5.

That's a lot.

Stop doing that close.

Mel. You're laying down now.

Mel has a problem.

Do I still have the dragon's breath? Okay, I'm going to sit up and look at this dude and try to breathe fire on him in a way that doesn't hit Molok.

We are in the exact same situation.

We were bucket send it.

I guess Olm's laying down now. So if you.

I'm. I'm going to. I'm sitting up. I haven't stood up yet. So I'm going to like center, like go upwards at the guy.

Angle up. Angle upwards so it will singe my back hairs.

And he. He says it's fine.

It's a deck save.

That's the piece almost definitely fails. Yeah.

Okay.

You don't need to. She's shooting over you.

Okay, so that's 11 points of fire damage.

It's a cone. If Ice Creature 1 is in that cone as well, he is awesome. It also needs to save.

Okay, go ahead and describe.

Nice.

So I get knocked prone from his giant intake of freezing cold, nasty breath. And so I sit back up again suddenly and then I open up my mouth and I breathe and it just basically melts his cold freezer bird crusty face and he just sort of dissolves into a puddle of viscous icy goo.

It smells like overcooked freezer meat.

You raiders of the lost arkdom.

I definitely did.

As he's still sucking, he sucks it into and all that's left behind is a skull on his head and he just collapses down onto the.

And I'm freaking the out. Yeah.

And I'm so frightened. You're.

I'm still scared.

R. What are the scariest things you've seen got scarier and fell on you?

Yes.

Then I'm going to stand up.

You are up. Okay.

If I can see Ice Creature run, I'm going to shoot at him. If not, I'm going to hold my action to shoot at him when I can see him.

You cannot see him.

All right. I'm gonna hold my action.

Okay. All you see left in there is a shitload of ice all over throughout this room.

Got it. I'm gonna like this. I'm gonna hold my action. If I see Ice Creature one move again, I'm gonna shoot him.

Likewise with my bull.

Oh, look, there's a scary dead guy.

Freaking out. I might have peed a little. I don't fucking don't know what else I would do. I'd just be panicking.

You flail and kick the thing off you and scrimp.

Just trying to push it off me and like, scoot back a little bit, I guess, because I can't get closer.

Fair. Yeah, fair.

Does the fear effect end?

It should.

It should. Once it dies, it's no longer causing it. I don't know that you're less scared of it.

It ends at the end of Olnok's turn.

Yeah, at the end of Olmok's turn.

So I don't have to roll for the save.

Yeah.

It's like it's dead. I'm not afraid of it anymore.

Okay, you're afraid of the fact that it's dead on you.

But you know, and that takes me out of a rage. Unless this thing attacks me now.

You, I guess. Yeah. You're not out of a rage yet. Yeah, because you just got attacked.

Yeah. You still. You still took damage this time.

Yeah, you got attack this turn. It's next turn. So you're still aging. My bad.

I was confused, Emery.

Which isn't surprising. I'm just gonna brace, and if something comes within five feet of me, I'm going to cast my sword burst cantrip. If the ice creature comes within five feet of me.

Hey, Emory.

How you doing?

Okay. My hand.

That's why I clarified. I don't want to sword burst my companions here.

So to redescribe this room, just to make sure everybody is on the same page, this was a wooden walled room with big windows. Which windows got broken out? That's how you've been shooting at the dude. There is still wood blocking quite a bit of the room. Inside, Odok sees an ice crystal. Turn its head and stare at him.

Oh, cool, that's good.

And attack at him. Come scrambling out. So you guys see out of the doorway, a creature crawling quite rapidly, triggering your held actions.

Cool.

And you see me go.

I can't.

Did that thing get into me? Would I get sneak attack?

Yeah, that's going to be scrambled.

That door.

Now, something's coming from the other side.

So no 27 to hit. You hit 10 points of piercing damage.

Okay.

And I got a 23 to hit.

Group decide how you massacre this.

I feel like both arrows simultaneously. Like, one pins them in the head and one pins them in the chest.

Well, the first one hits and it starts a crack. And the bottom one hits, it starts another crack. And the two cracks meet.

Perfect.

And it just shatters.

Nice.

There you go.

Remind me. Mel, where are you? Did you move or did you just stand up?

I just stood up.

Okay.

Did I just get sprayed with, like, ice crystals now?

You moved, so no. I need a dexterity saving throw from you. 15 passes. You take two damage as a piece of broken ice shard cuts your cheek.

Ow. Just ow.

Yeah.

You took a lot of damage.

I took a lot of damage.

I took a pretty good chunk for being in a rage and successfully.

The two ranged people didn't get hit.

I feel like. So we get here. Are we still in initiative?

No, everything's dead.

Okay. And Mel's like, I would like another brandy and olnock. This is the last time I would go viewing dead bodies with you because we know they don't stay dead.

To be fair, this was Elliot's idea to go kill the thing because he said we'd get out. Gotta go kill abominable grandpa. And unfortunately, he was correct.

To be fair, if we never entered.

The room, we would have never known that he was abominable and we wouldn't have been hit.

And I was already busting his way out when we stepped in here. He'd have just come got us.

Let's go back. I feel. I don't know.

You look pretty rough, Mel.

We could just go sit by the fire. Because my face is still cold.

My spidey senses say we need to go check on.

Your ass is on fire.

Damn it.

Yeah, I feel. Considering we just fought.

Any clothes again? Sorry.

I feel less good about leaving them in the cozy room.

Yeah, I think we should go check on them and maybe warm up a bit. Incidentally, I don't feel awesome.

Oh, nock, you're fine. Those were FR. Coveralls.

You're fine.

But his front half is all completely covered in ice crystals, and his ass is completely, completely, like, smirking.

That would be a weird sensation.

It would.

You guys, just so you. How do you leave?

What do you do, turn around and head back to the hotel?

I buzz through the window.

I would really like nothing to hit me again until we've either had a short rest or somebody's giving me some healing.

Did you want those of us to have full hit points to go out the door first?

Yes.

Okay. I will boldly walk through the door.

I'll follow him.

Taking the dodge action.

I will boldly dodge my way back inside the hotel, which I still don't.

Feel great about because I'm terrified because the DM asked for specifics. On how we leave, I will briefly.

Dip my butt in some snow, cool that down a little bit so it matches the rest of me.

I guess I meant more along the lines of. Of. Are you doing anything to obscure what happened in the room, leaving the door open?

Fuck that.

No, I mean close the door behind us.

Should we chop this dude into, like, pieces?

I thought he melted.

He did.

His face did.

His face did.

He is starting to gelatinize quite grossly.

Ah, yuck.

You should chop on. You can go stir that if you want. I'm gonna go check on Jacob Achara.

Okay. You just close the door and you guys head on back in. And the scene inside the hotel has not changed much at all.

Oh, thank God.

Dude still sitting there, quill in hand, writing. Jeff is talking to him, telling some fucking wild stories.

I'm gonna go curl up next to Charlie and Jacob in front of the fire.

Bartender is giving Jeff a steady stream of alcohol.

Oh, easy, Jeff. Easy, Jeff.

And guys, stay in the night.

Yeah, yeah. Real quick. As. As long as everybody's cool. I say we go back and look around the room really quick to see if there's anything interesting.

The room which is the.

The monster room.

Oh, the one you were just.

Yeah, I'll come with you.

You find pamphlets described.

Okay.

I didn't know.

Can we chop him up into pieces so that he like.

Because he's turning into jelly.

He wants to stir the jelly. Go for it.

Stir it.

So you cannot cut it, but you could stir him.

Poke at him with my great action.

Yuck.

That's just nasty.

I told James, go for it.

Have at it.

I'm gonna use my mage hand to do that. Gooey.

I feel like I would like to say that in the time I'm just drawing smiley faces I spend curled up with Jacob and Charlie on front of the fireplace before we actually go to bed. Can that count as a short rest?

Sure, sure.

Thank you.

So you get a short rest before the long rest.

I need to take a nap before. Before I go to bed, Right?

To be fair.

Yeah, you say that like that's a bad thing.

It's only like four or five days ago that you got the shit beat out of you by the last ghost.

Before.

Before Mel drifts off, Emery sets another little glass of brandy next to her.

Perfect. With that, you guys have a peaceful rest of your evening. And you are shown off to your rooms that are all adjoining. There's not doors.

You're near each other.

Just to let you know, I've burned three hit dice and I believe I'm down three points.

Okay, we will say you're to 40.

Yes. Does my speed go back to normal?

Yeah. Yes. You guys, speeds are goods again.

Okay.

Just for the sake of. I pulled this out of my butt on the fly. I gotta give credit to Reddit user ojohnmccicken for his cold light terror. I used that monster for this battle in the subreddit Rime of the Frost Maiden. And then just for fun, the other thing you fought was an ice Mephit. Fought two ice Mephit. But his cold blight terror is a spin on the cold blight. Something else.

I heard that those Mephits are pretty good actors.

They really get into their world. Yeah. But yeah, that was his home breath that I use for this fight. So thank you. Mojo McChicken.

Love the name, dude. Hell yeah.

Up. Creature did not like that.

That did some serious damage.

Yikes.

I know about job. I was sitting pretty. That was a pretty good fight.

That's the way we're supposed to do it.

The cold light walker that you would find in Rime of the Frostmate.

Mel.

Some better silvered brass knuckles.

No, because those were all saves.

Yeah, those were all wisdom saves.

We need to get Mel some books.

We need to connect Mel with her inner self and boost her wisdom.

Inner peace. I thought that was what the yoga was for.

And it's been a really trying month. Okay, fair.

You guys have earned a level up because of the impromptu Fate.

Theater of the Mind is Jeremy Arston as Elliot Brandybane, Amanda Arston as Melanie Kelly, Michael Brunel, yours truly as Onak Vaga Johnson, Michael downs as James O'Brien, Casey Weingarten as Emory Lee, and Mike Schock is your dungeon Master. We release new episodes every two weeks, so our next episode will release on January 5th. Our link tree can be found in the podcast description, so you can follow us outside of the podcast and enjoy other entertaining content by us or even snag some merch. Also in the podcast description, you can find a link to the podcast as well as our referral code to get you 40% off your first four months of a paid membership, as well as our referral link to Epidemic Sounds, which gets you a one week trial to their excellent platform. The music that this week was sourced from Epidemic Sounds, who we are not sponsored by under the Creative Commons license. The songs used in order are A.

Storyteller's Life by Rune Dale, Average Duck Face by Mike Franklin, A Lighthouse in Space by Kim Aspen in the Cold by Piper EZ the Cold by Alex Slane, a Cold, Cold Wind by Savoon, entering madness by J.H. coleman, and dead Bodies by Experian. We also used fireplace, indoor, open, crackling, transient, low intensity pen writing 01 and gusts, snow, rustling, howling 01 from the sound effects library.

The Theater of the Mind theme ad break and outro were written by Mike Shock. All people, places, events, etc are used in a fictitious manner. Any similarities to people, places, etc are purely coincidental. So stay the fuck out of our goddamn dm. Disney. You can't say that. But you want me to do that again because I'm an asshole. ALL.

Welcome to Theater of the Mind. My name is Mike. I'm your Dungeon Master for this evening. And our question from the ultimate Campfire RPG card deck by James D'Amato is, if you were suddenly transformed into a mythical being or monster, what would you be? What would you want to be turned into? And what would you. And what would be the first thing you did with your power? Jesus.

Do you need to rerecord that?

Yeah, let me try that again.

To Jesus. That's cool.

I mean, we're not going to go into that discussion. Let's turn it over. Welcome to Theater of the Mind. My name is Mike and I'll be your Dungeon Master for this evening. Our question. And that's where we're going to end this recording session.

Oh, I get two new rogue expertises.

Oh, just kidding. Oh, you get too strong. Just kidding.

Weirdly enough, I'm going to take medicine as one of them because I feel like we need it.

I thought you did that already.

I have, like, just basic help.

I don't know.

It would be a good choice.

Double up on the bear.

No.

Stand by.